Why You Hate Yourself and Negative Effects

Self-loathing or self-loathing is an attitude that almost everyone has probably experienced. If left unchecked, this condition can make it difficult for you to develop.

Therefore, it is important to recognize the causes of self-loathing and find appropriate ways to deal with it.

Causes of self-loathing

Even though it’s not said directly, the phrase “I hate myself” often spins in my head by itself.

But of course, these negative thoughts arise due to several reasons. Here are some of them.


Someone who has had unpleasant experiences in the past is more at risk of hating himself, even as an adult.

For example, children who have been traumatized by physical and emotional abuse tend to see the world as unsafe and to view other people as dangerous.

These thoughts can then develop into the notion that they are not worthy of love.

In fact, self-loathing can also arise because of the words that come out of their own parents.

Even if they are only said once, these words can live on in children’s minds and cause self-loathing.

Trying to make other people happy

If you have principles or a strong will to make other people happy but fail to make it happen, self-hatred is very likely to arise.

The self-loathing syndrome occurs because you feel like you’ve let that person down. You may judge yourself as having no benefit for others.

Making other people happy will make you happy too. However, don’t let yourself feel responsible for other people’s happiness, let alone make you a people pleaser.

Have too high expectations

The desire to complete a job with the best results is certainly a natural thing.

However, failing to live up to those unreasonably high standards can actually make you feel like a failure and self-loathing.

If you are able to overcome failure with self-introspection, of course it’s not a problem. Unfortunately, this condition can also make you disappointed and hate yourself.

Therefore, it’s important to set expectations so you don’t easily feel disappointed in yourself.

Too often compare yourself with others

Launching from the Mental Health America Screening page, the habit of comparing one’s own weaknesses with the strengths of others is one of the causes of self-loathing.

Always remember that other people have flaws and have made mistakes, and the person you admire the most is no exception.

Seeing other people’s achievements and making them motivation is indeed a good thing.

Even so, don’t let the habit of comparing yourself to others actually make you feel depressed and hate yourself.